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Blog Post, Behind the Scenes

August 21, 2012
by

The following is a true story, so true that it happens almost every time I get it into my head to write.  I have a small feeling that maybe, just maybe, I’m not the only one …

Week 1, or Let’s Call it Planning not Procrastination

Tuesday 9pm:  Die multiple times to something in game, or wipe multiple times to a raid boss, or read patch notes about upcoming changes to my class, or attempt to level an alt.

Tuesday 9:30pm:  Get really pissed off about one of the preceding.

Tuesday 9:35pm:  Think, “That would make for a decent blog post.”

Tuesday 11pm:  Fall asleep.

Thursday 3:30am:  Wake up with fully formed, beautiful, perfectly written blog post in my head.  Smash hand on nightstand in hopes that I’ve left a notepad there.  Instead, find phone.

Thursday 4:15am:  Finish checking Twitter / looking through Google Reader / playing Temple Run.  Fall back asleep forgetting why I woke up in the first place.

Thursday, 6pm:  Remember what woke me up this morning.  Frantically search memories for any clue as to what the beautiful words were.  Fail.

Thursday, 7pm:  Give up on remembering the full post, instead just write down a quick title on WordPress and save the draft in hopes that maybe more of it will come back to me over the next few days.

Sunday, 12pm:  Come to grips with the fact that the perfect dream-post is not coming back to me.  Wallow.

Sunday, 1pm:  Sit down at the laptop to attempt to knock out some kind of inferior version of what I’d dreamt.  Manage to type one paragraph that probably belongs somewhere in the middle of the thing.

Sunday, 2pm:  Get asked by guildmates to go run Gruul’s for transmog loot.  End up running everything in Tier 4.  Leave the blog post up in a browser tab so that I can “come back to it later.”

Sunday, 11pm:  Go to bed.  Browser tab is still open.

Week Two, or Self-Loathing is a Perfectly Fine Writing Strategy Thank You Very Much

Monday, 8am:  Boyfriend asks, in a pleasant tone but one which makes it clear that it’s been too long since I last wrote anything, “So, what’s your next post about?”  Mumble back an answer that’s probably just whatever title I wrote down and saved as a draft.  Guilt ensues.

Monday, 4pm:  Bring up post draft.  Stare at it.  Guuuuiiiiiilt.

Monday, 4:30pm:  Tentatively type an introduction.  Declare it shit.  Save it anyway.  Give up.

Monday, 4:45pm:  Decide I was overreacting.  Type a few more paragraphs.  Realize I have no idea what I’m trying to say.  Declare the entire post shit.  Give up.

Monday, 8pm:  Log on to WoW to take some screenshots for the shitty post.  Get invited to PvP with guildmates.

Monday, 11pm:  Go to bed.

Tuesday, 6am:  Remember I was going to take screenshots last night.  Fuuuuuuuuuu-

Tuesday, 7:35pm:  Out of nowhere, some of the words from the dream start to come back to me.  I type them down as quickly as I can because –

Tuesday, 8:00pm:  Raid heroic Dragon Soul for the next 3 hours.

Tuesday, 11pm:  Go to bed.

Wednesday, 5pm:  Break out the old, busted Macbook that has nothing fun installed on it.  It’s also missing the Q and 1 keys, but I doubt I’ll need those.  Tell myself I’m going to sit still and write this post until it’s done, dammit.

Wednesday, 6pm:  Close Facebook / Twitter / Google Reader.  The only tab left is WordPress, I guess I’d better work on that.

Wednesday, 6:30pm:  Finally start to write in earnest.  Post hits 1000 words.  I think I should probably get around to a conclusion soon.

Wednesday, 6:50pm:  1400 words …

Wednesday, 7:30pm:  1800 words …

Wednesday, 7:45pm:  Ok, no seriously.  You cannot have anymore words.  Start getting rid of the words you don’t need.

Wednesday, 8:00pm:  BUT I NEED ALL THE WORDS.

Wednesday, 8:15pm:  Blog while raiding / raid while blogging.  Hope that no one notices.

Wednesday, 8:30pm:  Whoops.  Brez the off-tank.  Close the WordPress tab.

Thursday, 6am:  Decide I “have” to publish that post today.  Find an old screenshot that works.  Realize I have no conclusion.  Make a pot of coffee.

Thursday, 6:30am:  Still have no conclusion, but wrote another 300 words instead.  Total cups of coffee:  1.5

Thursday, 6:45am:  Give up on “conclusion” and settle with “ending.”  Type a quick paragraph that seems vaguely relevant to the rest of the post.  Total cups of coffee:  2

Thursday, 7am:  Run spell check, save draft, hit the dreaded “Preview” button.  Pour another cup of coffee in order to make it through the proofing process.

Thursday, 7:15am:  CRAP, CRAP, MEGACRAP.  THIS IS THE BIGGEST TURD I’VE EVER WRITTEN AND EVERYONE IS GOING TO HATE IT FOREVER.  THEY’LL BE TALKING ABOUT IT YEARS FROM NOW  LIKE, “REMEMBER THAT GIANT PIECE OF CRAP TZUFIT PUBLISHED?  YEAH, HOW AWFUL WAS THAT?!”

Thursday, 7:20am:  Make another pot of coffee.  Wallow.

Thursday, 7:25am:  Realize I’ve spent too much time on this turd not to publish it, even though I’m positive that no one who reads it will have the slightest clue what I’m talking about.  By now, I’m pretty sure I have no idea what I’m talking about.  Daydream about Cynwise Meerkat telling me, “Fuck it!  Hit Publish!”  I do what the meerkat says.

Thursday, 7:26am:  Reread the post now that it’s up.  Decide maybe there are a few redeemable things in here, but mostly still garbage.

Thursday, 7:27am:  Find a typo that I missed while proofreading.  FUUUUUUU-

Thursday, 7:28am:  Meltdown.

Thursday, 7:29am:  Fix typo.  Resume meltdown.

Thursday, 7:35am:  Begin to obsessively check Twitter to see if anyone has re-tweeted my post.  Some people have.

Thursday, 7:45am:  A few more RTs show up.  I read the post again.

Thursday, 7:50am:  Huh, you know what?  This post is pretty good.  I mean, definitely not my best work, but I can see why it’s resonating with a lot of people.   Cool.

Thursday, 4pm:  Survey the RTs and comments that have shown up on the post.  Decide it’s the best damn thing I’ve ever written.  Tell myself there’s no point in getting so worked up about things and that, next time, I won’t worry so much.

Friday, 9am:  Find another typo … 24 hours after the thing has been published.

Friday, 9:02am:  MELTDOWN.

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30 Comments leave one →
  1. August 21, 2012 7:36 am

    Man oh man this could not have made my morning better! I can totally relate, except my man just looks vaguely at me when I’m trying to type a post and says “Wow, sometimes you can type really fast.” Thanks for this.

    • August 21, 2012 8:29 am

      Ahahaha!

      I appreciate that the boyfriend gives me the not-so-subtle hints to get writing every once in a while. Fortunately, he’s pretty good about waiting to do it until I’m getting close to 2 weeks without a post – that’s pretty much my panic threshold for assuming that if I don’t post RIGHT NOW everyone will assume I’ve fallen off the face of the earth.

  2. adriellyn permalink
    August 21, 2012 7:44 am

    Altogether too true… and shared on g+.

  3. August 21, 2012 8:00 am

    Perfect. This post perfectly describes what it takes for every single one of my posts to become published. Glad to see I’m not the only one who struggles with it. Now to only find a way around it. Perhaps it’ll come in a dream post…
    -Anslym

    • August 21, 2012 8:30 am

      I’m pretty sure that we are actually in the majority. 😉

  4. August 21, 2012 8:16 am

    OMG I *always* find typos or incorrect things in my posts like… 2 days after I publish. TERRIBLE.

    • August 21, 2012 8:30 am

      HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN?! I only read the post like a dozen times before I hit Publish!

  5. August 21, 2012 8:57 am

    I echo what the others have said, Tzufit. I think we *all* can relate to this!

    Except for the part about the Boyfriend. Mine likes to ask what I’m up to as I’m writing something and I get really bashful and protective and hug the monitor so he can’t see it. “It’s not ready yet!” I’m such a weirdo.

    • August 21, 2012 9:32 am

      Haha! I’m the total opposite – I try to get him to read my drafts, but he’s usually wise enough to stay away until I hit Publish. Most of the time, I just need to work the anxiety out of my system as a part of the process.

  6. August 21, 2012 9:08 am

    Haha, this was really fun to read! You’re not the only one who thinks of a great post, forget it and then struggle with it for days 😛 Good thing you finished it and it turned out to be great 😀

    • August 21, 2012 9:33 am

      Thanks! Ugh, I can’t even count the number of blog posts or parts of blog posts that I’ve forgotten. It seems like, when I get an idea, it pops into my head fully formed and then I have to rush to get it all written down before it disappears again. Unfortunately, dropping everything to blog isn’t always an option (like at 3:30am). 😛

  7. August 21, 2012 9:19 am

    Yep. That’s pretty much my process too.

    • August 21, 2012 9:34 am

      I would’ve guessed as much, from the meerkat himself.

    • August 21, 2012 9:36 am

      I think I need to commission a picture of the meerkat doing the five rules, and then yelling FUCK IT JUST PUBLISH IT ALREADY!

      I’m currently struggling with getting posts to that point again. 😦

    • August 21, 2012 9:39 am

      OH YES – I am picturing a From Draenor With Love style meerkat 5 rules. In my head it is amazing.

      Sorry the posts are getting you down. If you need, I will tweet “FUCK IT JUST PUBLISH IT” at you a couple times a week (or do something actually supportive like talk about them). 🙂

    • August 21, 2012 9:43 am

      Oh my. Yes. This idea, this idea, I like it a lot.

      I already have one commission in line with Vid. I’ll have to see if she has room in her queue, or grab another artist.

  8. August 21, 2012 10:34 am

    Are you me? I do exactly the same thing.

    And look at it on the upside. Finding a typo in the post a day after you published it is far, far superior to finding a typo in the post a month after you published. Not that I’ve done that. *cough*

    • August 21, 2012 4:56 pm

      I … don’t know. Am I you? Are you me? This could get confusing. 😛

  9. August 21, 2012 11:15 am

    Tzu that is such a hilarious post! I think a lot of people can relate!

  10. August 21, 2012 5:13 pm

    Oh, look, it’s me with anything that isn’t me rambling inanely about things that don’t matter.

    Which is what most of my blog is.

    Generally because of this issue and me not being able to push through to the “just finish the god damn post” phase…

    • August 21, 2012 11:47 pm

      Rambling is an underrated skill. Seems like most of the good blog posts I read might get lumped into the rambling category, but they still have a great flow and are fantastically written.

      Obviously, I have no good advice for pushing yourself past the “just shut up and post” phase. For me, it really does just come down to getting frustrated enough with myself over having spent a week or two on a project that I think has some merit, and then just wanting to get it done with (if only to get it out of my Drafts Folder of Eternal Guilt).

  11. August 21, 2012 6:06 pm

    I can’t tell you how many unfinished drafts I have sitting there, wondering if they’ll ever be published. Mostly it’s stuff that makes me say, “No one would ever want to read this, why did you bother writing it?”

    I do the same thing with comments on other people’s blogs. I’ll write a huge long response to something, then delete it. Then hit ctl-z in attempt to get it back. Then repeat. And then finally close down Chrome feeling totally annoyed with myself.

    Anyway, hilarious post. It gave me a much needed laugh today while I was at work. 🙂

    • August 21, 2012 11:52 pm

      I do the same thing with comments – if I even get so far as starting to type something out. Having Google Reader on my phone is such a blessing and a curse, because while it means I can keep up with blog posts all day long, it also means I’m less likely to comment. Trying to type a well-thought out comment on a smart phone 1.) takes forever and 2.) means dealing with the pitfalls of autocorrect. So instead, I get these comments in my head that vanish by the time I get home.

  12. August 21, 2012 6:34 pm

    I LOVE this!! >.> oh look an open wordpress tab……*wanders off to type some*…this is soo what it is like!

    • August 21, 2012 11:53 pm

      Yeah … my busted Macbook may not have anything fun installed on it, but it does still have an internet browser. When you’re deep into procrastination mode, that can be more than enough.

  13. August 23, 2012 9:18 am

    Ahhhahahah, this was a great giggle – just what I needed! ❤

    • August 24, 2012 3:32 pm

      Thank you, glad it made you laugh. 🙂

  14. August 25, 2012 12:26 am

    this was epic. I think I’ve deleted more posts deemed shit than I’ve actually published and it’s just like you say!

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