Blog Post, Behind the Scenes
The following is a true story, so true that it happens almost every time I get it into my head to write. I have a small feeling that maybe, just maybe, I’m not the only one …
Week 1, or Let’s Call it Planning not Procrastination
Tuesday 9pm: Die multiple times to something in game, or wipe multiple times to a raid boss, or read patch notes about upcoming changes to my class, or attempt to level an alt.
Tuesday 9:30pm: Get really pissed off about one of the preceding.
Tuesday 9:35pm: Think, “That would make for a decent blog post.”
Tuesday 11pm: Fall asleep.
Thursday 3:30am: Wake up with fully formed, beautiful, perfectly written blog post in my head. Smash hand on nightstand in hopes that I’ve left a notepad there. Instead, find phone.
Thursday 4:15am: Finish checking Twitter / looking through Google Reader / playing Temple Run. Fall back asleep forgetting why I woke up in the first place.
Thursday, 6pm: Remember what woke me up this morning. Frantically search memories for any clue as to what the beautiful words were. Fail.
Thursday, 7pm: Give up on remembering the full post, instead just write down a quick title on WordPress and save the draft in hopes that maybe more of it will come back to me over the next few days.
Sunday, 12pm: Come to grips with the fact that the perfect dream-post is not coming back to me. Wallow.
Sunday, 1pm: Sit down at the laptop to attempt to knock out some kind of inferior version of what I’d dreamt. Manage to type one paragraph that probably belongs somewhere in the middle of the thing.
Sunday, 2pm: Get asked by guildmates to go run Gruul’s for transmog loot. End up running everything in Tier 4. Leave the blog post up in a browser tab so that I can “come back to it later.”
Sunday, 11pm: Go to bed. Browser tab is still open.
Week Two, or Self-Loathing is a Perfectly Fine Writing Strategy Thank You Very Much
Monday, 8am: Boyfriend asks, in a pleasant tone but one which makes it clear that it’s been too long since I last wrote anything, “So, what’s your next post about?” Mumble back an answer that’s probably just whatever title I wrote down and saved as a draft. Guilt ensues.
Monday, 4pm: Bring up post draft. Stare at it. Guuuuiiiiiilt.
Monday, 4:30pm: Tentatively type an introduction. Declare it shit. Save it anyway. Give up.
Monday, 4:45pm: Decide I was overreacting. Type a few more paragraphs. Realize I have no idea what I’m trying to say. Declare the entire post shit. Give up.
Monday, 8pm: Log on to WoW to take some screenshots for the shitty post. Get invited to PvP with guildmates.
Monday, 11pm: Go to bed.
Tuesday, 6am: Remember I was going to take screenshots last night. Fuuuuuuuuuu-
Tuesday, 7:35pm: Out of nowhere, some of the words from the dream start to come back to me. I type them down as quickly as I can because -
Tuesday, 8:00pm: Raid heroic Dragon Soul for the next 3 hours.
Tuesday, 11pm: Go to bed.
Wednesday, 5pm: Break out the old, busted Macbook that has nothing fun installed on it. It’s also missing the Q and 1 keys, but I doubt I’ll need those. Tell myself I’m going to sit still and write this post until it’s done, dammit.
Wednesday, 6pm: Close Facebook / Twitter / Google Reader. The only tab left is WordPress, I guess I’d better work on that.
Wednesday, 6:30pm: Finally start to write in earnest. Post hits 1000 words. I think I should probably get around to a conclusion soon.
Wednesday, 6:50pm: 1400 words …
Wednesday, 7:30pm: 1800 words …
Wednesday, 7:45pm: Ok, no seriously. You cannot have anymore words. Start getting rid of the words you don’t need.
Wednesday, 8:00pm: BUT I NEED ALL THE WORDS.
Wednesday, 8:15pm: Blog while raiding / raid while blogging. Hope that no one notices.
Wednesday, 8:30pm: Whoops. Brez the off-tank. Close the WordPress tab.
Thursday, 6am: Decide I “have” to publish that post today. Find an old screenshot that works. Realize I have no conclusion. Make a pot of coffee.
Thursday, 6:30am: Still have no conclusion, but wrote another 300 words instead. Total cups of coffee: 1.5
Thursday, 6:45am: Give up on “conclusion” and settle with “ending.” Type a quick paragraph that seems vaguely relevant to the rest of the post. Total cups of coffee: 2
Thursday, 7am: Run spell check, save draft, hit the dreaded “Preview” button. Pour another cup of coffee in order to make it through the proofing process.
Thursday, 7:15am: CRAP, CRAP, MEGACRAP. THIS IS THE BIGGEST TURD I’VE EVER WRITTEN AND EVERYONE IS GOING TO HATE IT FOREVER. THEY’LL BE TALKING ABOUT IT YEARS FROM NOW LIKE, “REMEMBER THAT GIANT PIECE OF CRAP TZUFIT PUBLISHED? YEAH, HOW AWFUL WAS THAT?!”
Thursday, 7:20am: Make another pot of coffee. Wallow.
Thursday, 7:25am: Realize I’ve spent too much time on this turd not to publish it, even though I’m positive that no one who reads it will have the slightest clue what I’m talking about. By now, I’m pretty sure I have no idea what I’m talking about. Daydream about Cynwise Meerkat telling me, “Fuck it! Hit Publish!” I do what the meerkat says.
Thursday, 7:26am: Reread the post now that it’s up. Decide maybe there are a few redeemable things in here, but mostly still garbage.
Thursday, 7:27am: Find a typo that I missed while proofreading. FUUUUUUU-
Thursday, 7:28am: Meltdown.
Thursday, 7:29am: Fix typo. Resume meltdown.
Thursday, 7:35am: Begin to obsessively check Twitter to see if anyone has re-tweeted my post. Some people have.
Thursday, 7:45am: A few more RTs show up. I read the post again.
Thursday, 7:50am: Huh, you know what? This post is pretty good. I mean, definitely not my best work, but I can see why it’s resonating with a lot of people. Cool.
Thursday, 4pm: Survey the RTs and comments that have shown up on the post. Decide it’s the best damn thing I’ve ever written. Tell myself there’s no point in getting so worked up about things and that, next time, I won’t worry so much.
Friday, 9am: Find another typo … 24 hours after the thing has been published.
Friday, 9:02am: MELTDOWN.